10 December 2007

[0NY] fucks Vaudeville, drunk.

So... I've been going to RCC [Randolph Country Club] every Sunday night, now, for weeks... cos Sunday Nights are Karaoke Nights. Well... can we just say that each Sunday, I've come out of my shell, more and more...

I'd been going with Jess, cos she loves going there. [Not gonna lie, so do I.] I love it. Everyone is usually very very friendly, the hosts [and most of the performers] are actually very personable, and will laugh with you [not at you].

This past Sunday was noooooooooooooo exception:

Ok, I arrive with Jess [I had her come get me, cos I wasn't going to risk taking the familienwagon on the highway, in ice, again] and go to sit down at the bar. She went tinkles, came back, and there were a slue of people at the bar. When she sat down, I noticed that our 'friend' Brandon was up there, doing some song that we don't even think he knew. [he has this habit of picking songs to perform, and when he does them... it sounds like he doesn't know the phrasing of the song whatsoever.] Cute kid, but completely oblivious. This had been the second week I've seen him [him not seeing me] since that first time we all hung out at Jay's house. Well.. Jess asks me if he'd come over to say Hi... and I told her that he hadn't, and that he hadn't done so, the week prior, either. Sure as shit, shortly after she said that, he comes over to us, and pounces on my face. ["OMG, I didn't know you were here... I mean, I looked up and over at the door, and a good scent hit me... like 'wow, someone smells really good!' and then I looked over and realised you were here!" So, like... he kissed my cheek once, during the conversation, then did it again, and almost a third time, before he went over and said Hi to Jess.

At this point in the evening Jess is giving me 'the look.' [Ony, you need to get up there, already.] I was just finishing my second Sex On The Beach [in three minutes]... and she tells me that she wants to hear me do "Slow," by Kylie Minogue, again. [She likes that one cos I OOOOOOZE Sexuality in it, and it's a lot better for my vocal range, cos it's in my lower register] I was shocked that the Karaoke Master had it, cos... no one out here knows these songs... Hahha... [I like doing Kylie-oke cos I already know all of the words to 98% of her songs, so I can focus more on the PERFORMANCE Aspect, and not necessarily at the 'Stare-at-the-Screen' Aspect]

So... I get up there, and it's time to "Slow down and dance with me... Yeah... Slow..." And, I was already all dolled-up, for this Sunday... so... I had to rock it the fuck out. So... I did. [There was a guy at the bar that was fucking hooooootttttttttt... and every time I went to perform, he'd just focus on me -- but he wouldn't say anything. I wasn't about to, cos I hate making the first move -- I let the boys come to Me!] But... for the first Verse and Chorus, he focused on NOTHING but Me. And... at this point, my Online friend MARCO walked in. I'd never really talked to him in person. He walked right past me, and I didn't really notice it was him. He did look familiar, though. So... He walks in with his 45-ishYO Boyfriend. [hahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahah] and sits down at the tables near the stage... I start doing my thing, and walk closer... close enough to start working the crowd [from a distance]. After all... it was my first song... I didn't want to seem too eager.

One Song Down.

After a third Sex On The Beach, and two shots of 'Tracey Juice' [bartender's own concoction; don't know what's in it] [for Me] Jess is about ready to throw me up there, again. I chose to do "Can't Get You Out Of My Head," by Kylie, cos... Jess likes that one, and she felt she needed to hear me do that one, also... cos the words are exactly what she needed to hear. Dear goddess. So, naturally, I obliged. This time, I went a little further into the room, during my performance, cos I was already starting to feel my "Liquid BRAVADO." So... I start walking and dancing around the entire front half of the room, with the table of girls that absolutely loved meeee... I could also see that Marco was singing along to the song, and doing most of the moves from the video in his stool. I felt great!

Two Songs Down.

I decided to tone my drinking down a bit, and have just a Smirnoff. A couple of "ok-performing" performers later, and I severely wanted to blow them out of the water. So, I suggested it, and Jess agreed, cos she knows how much fun that song is. I chose "Red Blooded Woman," by Kylie. This time, during my performance, I decided it was high time I make it further into the center of the room... so, what do I do...? I traipse around until I got the beginning of the bar [by the latter parts of the song, naturally] And, by that time, I had everybody there movin' and groovin' along with me... Fantastic!

Three Songs Down.

Right here, in the evening, I've officially cut myself off -- temporarily. [bwahahaha] I was already watching my cash disappear, so I figure, for the time being, I've had enough. I start perusing the Songbook, again... and couldn't decide what to do. I'd seen a few good potential tracks... and then I pointed one out, that I knew I could do, but was a little too afraid to do: a ballad. The bar-goers were so used to me doing Dance-y Pop-y tracks, and Jess immediately convinced me to do it. She said it would be an awesome change up, to having done Pop music most of the night. ...I chose "Un-break My Heart," by Toni Braxton. I KNOW... R I S K Y M O V E ! But... I had to do it, I was now determined to show them all that I could do it, too [it was also a lot closer to my better range than the other tracks, hahahahahahah]. And, when I did... it made me so glad that I did. The group's reaction to my song was intenseeeeeeee! I don't think I'd ever been received with so much Enthus. And I was pretty much EN POINTE!

Four Songs Down.

After that, my heart was POUNDING! It was a combination of intense Lung Usage [to belt out those amazing holds], and nerves, from having sung like that [for the first time in Four Years], and being loved for it. It really took my breath away. Hahahhhaha. So, by this time, I was ready for more alcohol. Tracey [the most amazing bartender EVER!] came over to us with a new product to try... she called it a White Christmas. She said that it'd had Egg Nog, Southern Comfort and White Chocolate in it... and, I tell you, the damn thing was amazing! I couldn't even taste the alcohol! So... I had a taste of the sample, and asked that she give me one. I was in heeeeeeeaven! And... it gave me enough "courage" to attempt one... last... song...: "Love At First Sight [2002]," by Kylie. Jess was PISSED that I did that one... You all know the words to that one...

"And everything went from wrong to right
And the stars came out and filled up the sky
The music you were playing really blew my mind
It was Love, At First Sight...

...cos Baby, when I heard You
For the first time, I knew
We were meant to be as One..."

She thought that I was doing it as a direct call-out on her feelings toward a certain someone... that was not the case, at all. I chose that one, cos it was the last Kylie song left in the book! Hahahahahahahahahaha... so she got mad at me for no reason. Well... my Stage Presence and my Performance sold that one! Cos... everyone, and I mean EVERYONE was enjoying themselves at that point... and I was all over the fucking place... it was beautiful.

I'd totally had wayyyyyyy too much to drink.

...I think I'll be doing this a lot more. Every Sunday Night, in Randolph, bitches!
RANDOLPH COUNTRY CLUB, Sunday Nights... look for me... the fag with the Pink Hair.

[I'll be the one rockin' everybody's socks off.]

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